I was just talking to Colin about 2 minutes ago
& I was telling him about how I need to stop gaining weight & blah blah..
& he goes "Mary from work is pretty sure Andy's gonna leave you."
& I was kinda.. in shock. I was like "I'm so glad Mary from your work knows Andy & I.. & is in our business."
& then he goes.. " So does Dad."

I totally wanted to break down right then & there..
but I couldn't in front of him..

& I say, "Well why do they think that?"
& he says, "Because they have seen it happen SO many times before."

Then I said "well they don't know Andy enough then."
& then I think to myself.. what if it's ME that doesn't know Andy enough?

ksrnljksrmh;lsrm,;ls I had to run to my room 
before he saw me crying, & not being able to catch my breath.

After allllll I've been feeling the last few days,
he just tells me this out of no where.
It's not really helping me AT ALLL...

I haven't said this to anyone before but I have mentally started to prepare myself to 
be a single mother for awhile now, (before all this) & I have no idea why..

I just always felt like, 
I might end up by myself with a child.

It didn't become that real until Colin tells me all of this.

I mean, let's be realistic, a 19 year old boy,
with a baby & a fat disgusting girlfriend.

I can totally see him leaving in reality.
I just ... have to accept it..

I just hope Andy is better than all of that.
& he will prove my dad & MARY .... wrong.
Who the FUCK is Mary?!!?!!

So many things are wrong with this shit.
One is, it's not some like.. teenage boyfriend girlfriend unplanned pregnancy 
where the guy just... decides to leave one day.

Or at least I hope it's not like that.
I might just be the most naive person alive.